A Game of Thrones, George R.R. Martin (1997)

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 3 Pierogies

Review: Now that our countdown to the 5th Installment of A Song of Ice & Fire is down to less than a year, I thought it would be nice for the Yinzer Bookclub to review the four books that have been published to date.

First up is A Game of Thrones. I feel supremely dishonest only giving this book 3 Pierogies because the truth is I could not put it down and immediately went out and bought then next book in the series. This book is ridiculously entertaining. It is a fantasy novel although in reality, the series thus far is much more oriented with political intrigue than anything else and is very Rated R. There are numerous plots lines going at once, tons of characters with great development, multiple perspectives and a very unconventional blur between good/evil. This book is also awesomely unpredictable. Unlike most authors who would feel compelled to keep characters that their readers have bonded with around, George R.R. Martin is perfectly content to cut your hero's head off out of nowhere and throw it in your lap. It is actually kind of awesome.

The plot revolves around a realm called the 7 Kingdoms. Various ruling families control the various kingdoms with absolute power consolidated with "The Iron Throne." The plotline is based on England during the War of the Roses with the Stark family representing the Yorks and the Lannister family representing the Lancasters. In A Game of Thrones, the main conflict is between the Stark and the Lannisters as both families attempt to seize control of the Iron Throne. A secondary plotline revolves around a mysterious and cold realm north of the 7 Kingdoms and separated there from by an ancient wall. The wall is necessary as barbarians and supernatural vampire/wraiths roam the northern lands...and it seems they are on the move. A third plotline follows the princess of dragons, whose father sat the Iron Throne before being deposed years earlier. She loves among pillaging horse nomads apart from the 7 Kingdoms and begins to plan her family's reconquest of the Iron Throne.

Now to explain why I am giving this book 3 Pierogies. Well, the reason is the author is clearly a pervert and needs to be punished by getting less pieorgies than he should. Considering how chubby he is I think this is a severe punishment. There are some seriously graphic sex scenes in this book - with strange gratutious detail. Now that in of itself is not so bad, although personally I really don't like graphic sex scenes in books. The problem is that the sex scenes almost all involve a 13 year old girl and to say she is being statutorily raped by an adult stranger is about the most generous spin you can put on it. Now unless you are Roman Polanski, or one of those "enlightened" & "propressive" Hollywood morons defending him, chances are reading about the forcible deflowering of a child in graphic detail is going to make you want to puke.

Another problem I had with the book was the constant rape and violence towards women. I realize rape and misogyny are part of the world (and fantasy worlds apparently), particularly in times of war, but the amount and detail was hard to stomach. While the male characters, both good and bad, generally die or get injured bravely in battle the women are systemically humiliated before dying unceremoniously. They aren't just raped, they are gang raped. And not only are they gang raped but Martin loves to give you the unnecessary, gratuitous and humiliating details. If you can believe it, things get even worse in the second book.

This hyper-sexual violence towards women combined with the constant womanizing of the main characters, the constant put downs related to the worth of women relative to men and after a while it makes you start to wonder; has Martin created a world filled with systemic female degradation because he is laying the foundation for an ultimate commentary on oppression, violence and human dignity? Or has he created a world filled with female degradation because that is what he likes writing about? I haven't finished the series yet but I have a suspicion it is the latter which is where the icky feeling I have towards this book comes from. Hopefully, it turns out I am wrong although subsequent books have done little to relax my suspicions.

Even though this book left a bad taste in my mouth in some respects, it is otherwise totally engaging and entertaining. Indeed, HBO is supposedly turning these books into a series. Hopefully, child pornography laws will prevent them from interpreting this book too literally.

UPDATE: Rumors are circulating that Sean Bean (Boromir from LOTR) has been cast as Ned Stark. I'm very pleased with this casting decision as is, presumably, every other woman on the planet.

"I would have followed you, my brother....My captain.... My King" LAME!! I forgive you Sean Bean.

The Lovely Bones Movie (2010)

Posted By: Elle Ewok

The Lovely Bones movie based on Alice Sebold's 2002 best selling novel of the same name is set to be released on January 15, 2010. It stars Marky Mark (who replaced Ryan Gosling) sans the Funky Bunch playing something other than a cop for a change [see: We Own the Night, The Departed, Max Payne, The Other Guys (2010)] and a bunch of other actors I don't care about. Maybe if these other actors would rap in their underpants once in awhile people would notice when they are in movies.

This movie elicits alot of mixed and complicated emotions personally. I have very very bad feelings towards the novel. I absolutely loved the first 75% of the book which I thought was unique and painfully sweet. Although the book is based on the rape and murder of a 14 year old girl it is not emotionally manipulative at all which is amazing. HOWEVER, the ending was SO BAD in comparison to the rest of the novel that was a huge disappointment. I was actually offended by the end which is amazing considering I am xenophobic yinzer who finds ultra-politically correct attempts to find offense in everything to be insufferable. I would tell you exactly what I find offensive about the end but Trixie Beldon is a ridiculously hyper-sensitive lunatic regarding spoilers. The "spoiler" could be completely irrevelant to the plotline and Trixie could have no intention of ever reading the book, but if I divulge ANYTHING she acts like I purposely ran over her cats and I can't handle that emotional guilt-trip right now.

Anyway, although I hate this book so so much, I feel I must see this movie because it is directed by Peter Jackson. For giving me the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the best movies of all time, I feel morally obliged to patronize all Peter Jackson movies in demonstration of my eternal gratitude. Plus, I would love to see Peter Jackson's conception of heaven. So, yes, I will be seeing this movie. Hopefully, the stupid ending will be revised, reworked, rewritten or re-something because it is just so bad.

I can't post to the trailer, but you can watch it here:

http://www.lovelybones.com/

As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner (1930)

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 4 Pierogies

Review: I recently realized that I have a huge gaping hole in my formal and informal literary education. I have virutally no exposure to American writers from the South, particulary those associated with the Southern Gothic literary style including William Faulkner, Flannery O'Connor, Thomas Wolfe, Tennessee Williams etc.

On a recent trip to New Orleans I endeavored to remedy this deficiency and I stopped by Faulkner House Books and asked the woman who worked there (who is an expert in all things Faulkner) which of his books I should read first. She handed my a copy of As I Lay Dying with a big smile. This choice was not a suprising one, As I Lay Dying is considered Faulkner's most accessible novel and is the usually recommended as the best starting point for new readers to Faulker's body of work.

I confess to being extremely frustrated with the beginning several chapters of As I Lay Dying. The rural dialect was difficult to understand. Additionally, the stream of conscious narrative was confusing. Each chapter is narrated from the point of view of a different character. The character narrarating the chapter would refer to "him" "her" or "it" and you had no idea who or what was being referenced since stream of conscious writing necessarily eliminates exposition. My frustration lifted after several chapters though and I began to enjoy the book immensely. The rural dialect seemed more accessible and the people and objects who were unidentified in previous chapters eventually become known in later chapters.

This is not a book where you can put your brain on autopilot and enjoy the ride - it requires what I call "active reading" - Faulkner forces you to put the pieces together and you have to pay attention to understand the narrative. However, when you eventually figure that issue or event that was confused and unclear eariler in the novel it is extremely satisfying - like finishing a sukodu puzzle or eating nachos.

There has been much discussion and scholarship about the themes of As I Lay Dying: subjective truth vs. objective truth, social definitions of normalcy, personal isolation, limitations and pride associated with poverty, and the ugly nature of physical processes. However, it is not the novel's themes or social commentary that have stayed with me since I finished this book. Stripped away of all themes, symbols and motifs, this book at its core, in my opinion, is a very dark comedy - and I like dark comedies.

The basic plot line revolves around a family of ignorant rural hillbillies who are taking the decomposing corpse of the family matriarch to a town 30 miles away for burial. What makes it really dark is that it takes them several days to get started so that the body is badly decomposing and reeking throughout the ardous journey under the hot Mississippi sun. Their wagon is followed by buzzards and they bring disgust and inconvenience upon every person or town unfortunate enough to cross their path. None of the characters are particularly sympathetic either, for although they claim to be transporting the body out of respect for the dead woman's wishes in reality they all have their own selfish motivations for the trip whether it be to obtain false teeth or an abortion. That said, there are several characters that I did find myself warming up to and kept me emotional invested in the story; Darl and Cash in particular.

In the end it was the clever writing (one which offered reward after challenging readers) and the deliciously evil and darkly comical plot line that won me over. I look forward to reading more of Faulkner's work.

The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins (2008)

Reviewer: Trixie Belden

Rating: 5 Pierogies

The Hunger Games is one of those books that when you finish, you feel sad because the story is over and you will never be able to read it for the first time again. I read this book in two days and I am now disappointed in myself for not having slowed down to savor it. Let this be a warning for future readers of The Hunger Games – do not allow yourself to speed-read through this book or you will regret it later!

I am happy to report that The Hunger Games is set in a post-apocalyptic America and the main character – Katniss – is from an area that was once known as Appalachia. The main industry in her poor region is coal mining. Based on these clues, I decided that Katniss was probably from Pittsburgh – no wonder she was a smart, strong, and compassionate girl! Suzanne Collins’s nod to Pittsburgh (at least in my imagination) definitely set me up to love the book.

In the Hunger Games, 24 children are taken by the government every year and forced to participate in a reality television show where they fight to the death, leaving one child alive and victorious. After the government randomly selects Katniss’s little sister to participate, Katniss makes the ultimate sacrifice and volunteers to take her place in the game.

While playing, underdog Katniss must “outplay, outsmart, and outlast” her competitors. I loved the premise of this novel and learning about how Katniss played the game – her strategies, friendships, alliances, etc. Suzanne Collins succeeded in being descriptive, but not too descriptive in a way that would have interrupted the fast pace of this novel.

I found The Hunger Games to be extremely engaging and addictive. I highly recommend it as an entertaining and thought-provoking read. I also note that while this book is categorized as young adult, I found that it easily crosses over to an adult audience. Its sequel, Catching Fire, comes out September 1, and I plan to be at Barnes and Nobel first thing in the morning on September 1 to pick it up.

Marley & Me: Life and Love With the World's Worst Dog, John Grogan (2005)

Editor's Note: We were recently informed by a reader and friend that the books featured on Yinzer Bookclub are "snooty" - this review seeks to remedy this problem. Indeed, we are often quite responsive to literary fads and mass commercialization. Harry Potter Theme Park anyone? WOO HOO!

Reviewer: Spudbabe

Rating: 2 Overcooked Pierogies

Review: John Grogan is a journalist who wrote such a touching eulogy for his dog in the newspaper, he was encouraged to write an autobiographical book about his family’s relationship with their dog, Marley. The story was apprently so compelling that it was a New York Times bestseller and inspired a movie starring Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson, and Dylan Henry.

Marley is an adorable, but badly behaved Labrador Retriever who was adopted by the Grogan’s shortly after they were married. He is with them through their ups and downs, and all the stages of this young family. They are inevitably taught about themselves, life, and love. Awwwwww!

I am an animal lover who can relate completely to the story of a family’s love for their dog. Some parts were truly touching and sweet. One or two were funny-ish, and the end made me cry like an infant. The problem I had were the stories about the family. I found many of their choices that set up these supposedly hilarious stories to be stupid and annoying. I thought John Grogan was totally unlikable, and quite frankly, I don’t need to know how they conceived their children. I guess the appeal is supposed to be fact that they are an ordinary family. But I don’t really want to read 304 pages about a boring family that I don’t like.

The bottom line is that this should have been a 100 page novella focused solely on the dog. I think it could have been very tender and moving. Instead, John Grogan forced us to read way too much about him and it was incredibly cheesy. I also found it to be emotionally manipulative at times, which I do not appreciate.

I would say this is a good light read, but it’s not that good, and it’s too upsetting to be considered light. So I guess if you like to cry hysterically over something that isn’t very good and find tedious journalists to be fascinating, this is the book for you!

Thomas Wolfe Memorial, Asheville N.C.

Posted By: Elle Ewok

On a recent trip to Asheville, North Carolina I visited the Thomas Wolfe Memorial. It is his mother's old boarding house, Old Kentucky Home, which was immortalized as "Dixieland" in his largely autobiographical novel, Look Homeward, Angel (1929). It is preserved as it existed in the early 1900s.

The visit would have been more meaningful had I read Look Homeward, Angel prior to the tour but it was still interesting historically and has provided a context for my imagination as I read the novel now (I picked up a copy in the gift shop). The best part of the tour was when the elderly tour guide caught my bored mother trying to escape early and made her stay. I can't take her anywhere!

For Thomas Wolfe fans who haven't made it to Asheville, I have posted some pictures I took of Old Kentucky Home. Included is a picture of Julia Wolfe's bedroom (Eliza Gant in Look Homeward, Angel) with her personal belongings still scattered about the room. The other picture is of the early 20th century kitchen.

The memorial is located at 52 North Market Street in Asheville and the admission fee is only $1.

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