Decision Points (2010), George W. Bush

Reviewer: Spudbabe

Rating: 4 Smokin' Hot Pierogies

Review: Decision Points is a sexy memoir of George W. Bush’s time in office, and major decisions leading up to his election. For those of you thinking “he wasn’t elected” right now can stop reading here. This review is politically neutral and sexually charged, so if you can’t get past your hatred of George W. Bush, move along please. The first few chapters talk about his decision to quit drinking, join the National Guard, and to run for Governor and President. They were all interesting, but the best part was when he talked about meeting Laura Bush—a beautiful angel from heaven (my words not his)—and how it was love at first site. It was heartfelt and sweet, and definitely humanized him. This section made me cry like a baby, partly because of his sincerity, and partly because of jealousy. He doesn’t talk about his personal life in great detail, but it is very clear how much he loves and respects his parents, wife, and children. The parts when he spoke of them were very charming.

He spoke a lot about the actual day of 911 and the direction his presidency took after that. All of the decisions that were made in the days and weeks following, and what information he had at the time he made the decisions. He also describes the mistakes he felt he made in hindsight. He says not finding WMD’s in Iraq was a huge embarrassment but maintains that all the international evidence led him and everyone else to believe they did have them. He still thinks the war in Iraq was necessary, but conceded that mistakes were made along the way. He strongly believes that history will be kind to him. He spoke of 911 and the wars with earnestness and sadness that I believe was genuine. You may not agree with the wars, but I don’t know that you can argue that he believes he was doing what was right and felt a great deal of responsibility for his choices. He also describes how seemingly little decisions that he didn’t even make, like the famous “Mission Accomplished” banner hanging behind him, had such huge impacts on the public’s perception of him. Things that we, as spectators, like to make a huge deal about. When you hear the person actually explain the context, you realize how stupid it is, and how difficult it must be to live under that kind of scrutiny.

He also spoke of the financial crisis and claims that he warned Congress this was inevitable back in the beginning of his presidency, and several times afterward. I don’t know how true that is because I don’t fact check, but it’s interesting. I disagree completely with the bailout, but I liked to hear the information he had that led him to that decision. He also described Katrina and it was clear that everyone in power in Louisiana at that time were clueless morons. He described them in a very tactful and diplomatic way, but it was obvious they were incompetent and he took the heat for it.

I think this memoir was very fascinating. Partially because of the content, but mostly because George W. Bush has a sexy voice and I was listening to the audiotape. We get caught up in criticizing everything the president does and we lose sight of just how difficult the position is every single day. He says at one point that no easy decisions get to the President. All the easy decisions are made at lower levels, so once something gets to the President there are no clear answers and most decisions need to be made quickly. It’s why everyone (except GW) ages so horribly during their presidency. President Bush was faced with an extremely difficult Presidency with lots of disasters and huge decisions to be made. So we should all keep that in mind when we are so quick to judge everything he (and every other President) chose to do while in office. The end.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks (2010), Rebecca Skloot

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 4 Pierogies

Review: I went to a fundraiser/lecture several weeks ago where Rebecca Skloot was the featured speaker. All I knew was that she wrote a book that didn't sound particularly interesting to me that Oprah was making into a movie with HBO. After the lecture, I was very interested in Ms. Skloot's book. I even bought it in hard-cover and had her autograph it. Pumy's Mommy got two books signed. Ms. Skloot began writing this book as a graduate student at the University of Pittsburgh. YAY Pittsburgh!

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is about the origin of the HeLa cell line. HeLa cells are the workhorse of medical research and were vital in the biggest medical breakthroughs of the past century including the development of the polio vaccine and countless treatments for everything from cancer to AIDS. HeLa cells are special because they are "immortal" meaning they will divide and exist forever. There are billions and billions of HeLa cells in research labs all over the world. They are also incredibly resistant and frequently destroy other cell lines that they come into contact with. Up until the discovery of the HeLa line, no human immortal cell line existed. The discovery of the HeLa cell line is literally priceless to the world.
So where did the HeLa cells originate from? Well no one knew or cared for a long time and that is premise of The Immortal life of Henrietta Lacks. Henrietta Lacks was a black mother of five living in Baltimore. In 1951 she died of a viciously aggressive form of cervical cancer. A sliver of her cervical cancer tumor was taken for medical research without her knowledge (a common practice at the time). However, the cells found in this tumor were cultured by George Otto Gey (a Pittsburgh native) and turned into the first immortal human cell line. Dr. Gey gave away the cells to researchers all over the world for free for use in research. Eventually demand for HeLa cells was so high private companies created "HeLa factories" and made tons of money selling HeLa cells to labs all over the world.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks tells two stories. One is the history of HeLa cells and their use in scientific research. This portion of the book was incredibly interesting. The other half of the book is the author's journey in writing the book and her relationship with Henrietta Lacks's children (mainly her daughter Deborah). It took Ms. Skloot 10 years to write the book and most of that time seemed to be spent gaining the trust and help of the Lacks family who were understandably guarded.

The book brings up really interesting points on our "rights" to our own tissues generally. Also, the book touches on race relations and exploitation. After all, Henrietta Lacks's cells have created massive amounts of wealth yet her family lives in poverty and has no health insurance to this day. Ms. Skloot tells the story as a journalist though. She reports both sides. Granted Henrietta Lacks had a piece of her cancer removed for research without her knowledge in a segregated hospital but such action was standard at the time (and still is today - taking discarded tissue for research, not segregation). She received the best treatment at the time, the same a white person would have received, and she didn't have to pay for the treatment. As such, the doctors felt perfectly justified doing research on her discarded tissue since they treated her for free. Apparently doctors still do this today even when you pay for treatment, if you ever had a mole removed it is probably in a lab somewhere.

The book was extremely interesting from a scientific point of view. I could not put it down. The human element was addictive too but for all the wrong reasons. It was like watching a Jerry Springer episode play out in front of a literal train wreck. To call the Lackses dysfunctional would be an understatement. Here is the problem with the book. A lot of the themes about exploitation are neutered because the Lackses are so incredibly unlikeable. My New Years resolution this year was to stop being so judgmental but reading about the Lacks family ruined my resolution.

Essentially the Lacks family has a problem with procreating at inappropriately young ages - with each other. As such, they are extremely inbred. Monogamy appears to be a problem as well. Hanrietta Lacks died of cervical cancer caused by HVP given to her by her husband/cousin. He also gave her syphilis and gonorrhea. All the inbreeding mixed with STDs have resulted in a generational cocktail of birth-defects and mental problems. All her children are at least partially deaf, one was retarded and they all have various mental and physical problems. There is also alot os sexual and physical abuse going on. These are not likable people so when they complain constantly bout how they want money for the HeLa cells it is hard to work up the requisite sympathy. But maybe I am just an unsympathetic jerk.

Anyway, The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is extremely informative and addictive. Highly recommended and I will definitely watch whatever Oprah comes up with based on the book.

Bossypants (2011), Tina Fey

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 3.5 Pierogies

Review: Every trip to Vegas includes at least one "hangover" night, where I am too sick from the previous night's age-inappropriate shenanigans to leave my hotel room. Last Saturday was my Vegas-Hangover-Night. When my travel companion (Pumy's Mommy) went downstairs for drinks with friends I stayed in bed and read the copy of Bossypants she bought at the airport bookstore. I read the whole book that evening and it only took a couple of hours.

I am a fan of 30 Rock. My little brother tells me I remind him of Liz Lemon (the character played by Tina Fey - who is based on Tina Fey) which annoys me because I don't really like Liz Lemon although I can see similarities. Isn't there a saying about hating in others what you most dislike about yourself???

Bossypants reads more like a random assortment of essays than a linear autobiography. Ms. Fey tells random stories about her life and childhood, her time on SNL, her thoughts on sexism in the comedy business and random observations on life, motherhood and aging. Despite being an autobiography, Ms. Fey doesn't reveal a lot about her personal life (for example she notes that her face was slashed as a child but gives no details). It's fine if you want to keep your personal life personal but a bit strange if you are writing an autobiography.

The humor is very much in line with 30 Rock and if you find Liz Lemon's character amusing you will like this book. Personally, I found a couple chapters absolutely hysterical and almost fell off the bed when I read the chapter about aging and how your body is determined to become disgusting. Plus, the chapters about the interworkings of SNL were very interesting to me.

So why the three pierogie (i.e. average) review? Well, the book was really disjointed. Not a huge problem but the book felt confused about what it wanted to be. An autobiography? Social commentary? Humorous essays ala David Sedaris? I guess it is a bit of all the above.

My other problem with the book is I found Ms. Fey to be kind of obnoxious at times. Granted she is 100 time more tolerable and well-behaved than most self-identified media elites but she still has her annoying moments. She has a whole section where she responds to negative comments made about her on the Internet. It was a stupid and self-indulgent section. Also, as an example of something that annoyed me, she writes in the introduction:

"Maybe you bought this book because you love Sarah Palin and you want to find reasons to hate me. We've got that! I use all kinds of elitist words like 'impervious' and 'torpor,' and I think gay people are just as good at watching their kids play hockey as straight people."

Self-identified elites love to embrace the elite label (as evident in the above quote) because they submit being educated and smart is a good thing and people who criticze them for being elite are too dumb to realize that. Well, duh. I hate to break it to you but even us rubes in flyover country will agree that intelligence and education are good things. The problem is not that you are smart enough to know what "torpor" means, it is that you are not smart enough to realize there are very few contexts where using such word will be appropriate without coming off as a pretentious a-hole. We call you "elites" because we are making fun of you for identifying yourself as such and thinking so highly of yourself not because we are too dumb to know that being elite is a good thing. Dumbasses. For the record, I went to fancy schools too and I have never used "torpor" in a conversation in my life. Mainly because I am not an a-hole. Moving on.

As I mentioned above, Ms. Fey is much less obnoxious and annoying than the majority of her contemporaries but I still found her off-putting at times. I really don't enjoy people who flex their intellectual and moral muscle by knocking down strawmen. To be fair there wasn't a lot of this in Bossypants and that which did exist was subtle but it was still enough to annoy me a little me.

All that said, Ms. Fey is very funny and it is clear she is a good person who loves her work and her family. I don't dislike her and I don't regret reading her book. There are a couple parts I will think about with a smile for a long time to come and there aren't many books I can say that about.

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (2003), Mary Roach

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 4 Pierogies

Review: If you suffer from morbid curiosity this book is for you. If you are a senstive sort who is disburbed by death, suffering and affronts to human dignity you probably want to avoid Stiff. Personally, I am both but, as usual, the the morbidly curious part of my nature won out so I read Stiff cover to cover even though portions of it upset me. In other words, there are a couple things I learned from Stiff that I think I would have been better off not knowing. I am now even more displeased with the prospect of dying than I was before. However, there is no doubt that this is a fascinating book.

Stiff is a book about cadavers. It covers everything from the decomposition process of human bodies, to organ donation, to embalming, to historical grave robbing, to medical research etc. Every chapter covers a different aspect of how human cadavers have been used through the ages and what actually happens to human remains. It is really interesting and I couldn't put it down even when it was disturbing me.

Stiff is mainly advertised for its unexpected humor. The cover claims it is "sidesplitting" and people carry on constantly about how funny Stiff is. There is certainly humor running through the book and it is necessary to balance out the depressing nature of the material. That said the humor is inoffensive and I think strikes the right tone of keeping the book from becoming too depressing without being insensitive. I would not call it "sidesplitting" however - "amusing" is more apt. Truly funny stuff usually has a bit of an edge or is a little dark. The humor in Stiff is so tame that it cannot really reach true comic heights but that's okay because dark humor would not have been appropriate in light of the sensitive nature of the subject matter.

Stiff is mandatory reading for anyone who wants to make an informed decision about the disposition of their remains. All the choices are examined in detail. In the end, Stiff very much encourages its readers to sign up for organ donation and, to a lesser extent, donating your body to medical research (organ donation is only possible when the person is brain dead but technically still alive so organ donation vs. research donation are mutually exclusive choices).

I think Roach is generally successful in her push for organ donation but not so much for research donation. Roach is very cirtical of the 50%+ of families of brain dead (but physically alive) individuals who do not consent to organ donation. I understand her point as "wasting" transplantable organs when there are so many in need is disturbing. However, I am not nearly as critical of familes who don't want to donate. I'm sorry but I cannot even imagine the pain of deciding what to do with a brain-dead loved one. Then to have hospital counsellors guilt-tripping you into letting them cut the still beating heart out of your loved one to give to a perfect stranger, like hyenas circling a wounded baby elephant, is pretty disturbing as well. Roach did get me to think about the issue for the first time though. I think I would be up for it if I knew the details. If I knew my heart was going to buy a few more years for an older man with his wife, I'm down. If my heart is going to a drug-addict, collectivist or college student - NO WAY. Look, I find drug addiction ridiculous and I won't be a part of it, collectivists (socialists, commies and marxists) do not need to be encouraged in their belief that they are entitled to other people's stuff and college kids are insufferable. If I ran into my college-self and had to listen to her drunkenly babble about how a vote for Ralph Nader will send a message about third party viability in America I would PUNCH HER IN THE FACE. I think I will let my family decide in the case of my brain death what to do. I am very indecisive.


After reading Stiff there is no way I am donating my body to medical research though. Roach makes the pursuasive point that you might as well donate your body for research because there is no dignity in being eaten from the inside out by maggots and liquifying into a putrid sludge. Point taken, but at least I would be doing that in the privacy of my own coffin and not naked in front of disgusted young medical students with their pretty hair and perky breasts. Sorry that is a humiliation I cannot endure - even in death.

Basically, Stiff made me realize that death is an unavoidably humiliating process that can't be avoided. The great equalizer indeed. I think I should start trying to come to terms with this reality now because it is going to take me awhile.

Why is Pumy's Mommy Reading the Twighligt Saga?

Asylum (1998), Patrick McGrath

Reviewer: Elle Ewok

Rating: 4 Pierogies

Review: Keeping in line with my newly discovered obsession with Gothic Literature I recently read Asylum by Patrick McGrath. My husband got it for me for Christmas (upon request) and I tore through the 272 page book like it was my job.

Asylum takes place on the grounds of a crumbling victorian mental hospital for the criminally insane in the English countryside during the late 50s. A new psychiartrist begins work at the mental hospital while his wife (Stella) and child live in a large house on the hospital grounds. Stella begins a passionate yet totally retarded love affair with one of the patients (Edgar) who is on work duty in her garden. Edgar is a nutball who murdered and mutiliated his wife. However, Edgar is hot and an artist so Stella is able to romanticize the murder. Edgar as the whole "tortured artist" schtick going on in spades. Stella becomes sexually obsessed with him (slut) and acts accordingly. Asylum basically details the affair and its aftermath. The story is narrated by an elderly psychiatrist who is clearly an unreliable narrator with his own motivations (any astute reader will pick up on this early on).

I loved the imagery in Asylum. The big, empty victorian spaces, english gardens, barren Welsh countryside and crumbling hospital are all described in interesting and gorgeous detail. I could see the sets in my mind's eye perfectly while reading. The best part is McGrath doesn't drown the reader in long, annoying descriptions of the settings. His descriptions are short and tight yet incredibly effective. This is a are skill. BRAVO Mr. McGrath!

The story is addictive - and how could it not be? The first page of the book tells the reader that the story is a tragedy and a tale of sexual obsession. HELLO?! Then the book takes off running. There is no long exposition or character backstory. The stage is set and Stella and Edgar are banging almost immediately. This isn't really a character study book - you learn some things about the characters through the book but there is no deep analysis as to why the characters are such selfish, crazy, horny jackholes. I hated pretty much everyone in the book but the story was so compelling I couldn't put it down. The plot actually went into a direction I was not expecting which is cool and there is a morbid twist (arguable) at the end.

Although I hate graphic depictions of sex in books I didn't have a problem with the sex in Asylum even though the book is filled with it. The narrator is a doctor and describes the sexual encounters in a clinical way which keeps them from coming off lurid and trashy. I dug it.

I guess some readers would disagree with me, but this book did not strike me as a character study or a commentary/analysis on any deep social, psychologoical or emotional issue. It is just a really morbid yet fascinating story. Crazy people in atmospheric settings begetting tragedy - the perfect gothic tale.

In 2005 Asylum was made into a movie starring Ian McKellen, Natasha Richardson and Marton Csokas. I heard the movie is depressing as all hell but I netflixed it anyway. Here is the weirdly disjointed trailer - it will give you all an idea of the story.

Holidays on Ice (1997), David Sedaris MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Elle Ewok

Rating: 4 Pierogies

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah (for my Mexican Jewish friend Sam)! I am stuck at work because my boss is a tyrant but the rest of you should go home and enjoy one of the most entertaining Christmas Stories of all time: Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris. Actually, I prefer to listen to David Sedaris' books on tape as his narrations are priceless.

Holidays on Ice is a book of 6 holiday-related essays. The most well-known is called Santaland Diaries and recounts Daivid Sedaris' time working as an elf Macy's. Although not my favorite David Sedaris book (Naked is my all-time favorite), Holidays on Ice is a light and hilarious way to enjoy the holidays.

As my holiday gift to you I will leave you with my favorite Christmas dinner movie scene.