Wednesday, September 16, 2009

The Lovely Bones Movie (2010)

Posted By: Elle Ewok

The Lovely Bones movie based on Alice Sebold's 2002 best selling novel of the same name is set to be released on January 15, 2010. It stars Marky Mark (who replaced Ryan Gosling) sans the Funky Bunch playing something other than a cop for a change [see: We Own the Night, The Departed, Max Payne, The Other Guys (2010)] and a bunch of other actors I don't care about. Maybe if these other actors would rap in their underpants once in awhile people would notice when they are in movies.

This movie elicits alot of mixed and complicated emotions personally. I have very very bad feelings towards the novel. I absolutely loved the first 75% of the book which I thought was unique and painfully sweet. Although the book is based on the rape and murder of a 14 year old girl it is not emotionally manipulative at all which is amazing. HOWEVER, the ending was SO BAD in comparison to the rest of the novel that was a huge disappointment. I was actually offended by the end which is amazing considering I am xenophobic yinzer who finds ultra-politically correct attempts to find offense in everything to be insufferable. I would tell you exactly what I find offensive about the end but Trixie Beldon is a ridiculously hyper-sensitive lunatic regarding spoilers. The "spoiler" could be completely irrevelant to the plotline and Trixie could have no intention of ever reading the book, but if I divulge ANYTHING she acts like I purposely ran over her cats and I can't handle that emotional guilt-trip right now.

Anyway, although I hate this book so so much, I feel I must see this movie because it is directed by Peter Jackson. For giving me the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the best movies of all time, I feel morally obliged to patronize all Peter Jackson movies in demonstration of my eternal gratitude. Plus, I would love to see Peter Jackson's conception of heaven. So, yes, I will be seeing this movie. Hopefully, the stupid ending will be revised, reworked, rewritten or re-something because it is just so bad.

I can't post to the trailer, but you can watch it here: